Difficult People Are Your Best Teachers
Jun 17, 2026
Let me say something that might sting a little.
The person driving you mad at work right now — the one who's too slow, too demanding, too blunt, or too unpredictable — isn't really the problem. They're a mirror.
I've worked with leaders across dozens of industries on four continents, and one pattern keeps showing up without fail: the traits that irritate us most in other people are almost always the traits we haven't yet developed in ourselves.
Think about it. If you're a fast-moving, big-picture thinker, the colleague who needs three more rounds of data before they'll commit to anything isn't just slowing you down — they're reflecting a capability you haven't fully owned yet. And the reverse is equally true. The detail-obsessed analyst who can't zoom out and make a call? They might be quietly frustrated by someone who moves too fast and overlooks the risk.
Neither is wrong. Both are incomplete.
This is exactly why we use DISC at Lagrou Partners. Not as a label, and not as an excuse. But as a tool for understanding what behaviours come naturally to us — and which ones we've been avoiding without even realising it. Most people operate comfortably within one or two of the four behavioural styles. That's not a flaw. It's just how it works. But it also means there are areas of the spectrum we're simply not covering, and those gaps become predictable points of friction.
Here's the reframe I want to offer: every person who presses your buttons is essentially diagnosing your Achilles heel for free.
So what do you do with that? You use it. Not defensively, not as a reason to excuse their behaviour, but as a prompt to ask yourself: what would I need to develop in order to work with this person effectively? Because when you expand your range — when you move from two styles to three, and eventually cover the full spectrum — something shifts. You stop hitting the same walls with the same types of people. Culture improves. Retention goes up. Your clients feel understood. Your strike rate increases. And quietly, your P&L follows.
Every situation calls for a different approach. Reviewing a P&L requires precision and detail. Opening a room at a client event requires warmth and social presence. Closing a deal with a fast-moving executive requires confidence, brevity, and a clear point of view. Situational effectiveness — the ability to flex your style to the moment — is one of the most commercially valuable capabilities a leader or a sales professional can build.
The people who challenge us most aren't in our way. They're part of the curriculum.
The question worth sitting with isn't "why are they so difficult?" It's "what are they showing me about myself?"
If you want to explore what this looks like inside your organisation — across your leadership team, your sales force, or your client-facing professionals — I'd be glad to have a conversation.
